A Welcome Change of Plans

I'm against resolutions
and the promise of new years and
over-starting something you thought you had left underneath your best friends pillow when you were six years old and not allowed to watch the ball drop.

I'll think of you as the champagne tickles my throat
and the ball gives the illusion of exploding.

I make confetti out of colored paper
and remember the paper planes that never flew too far.

This music is terrible,
I think.
One speaker too many
and the stranger next to me can't even remember the words.

I miss the days we slept through midnight
and the rocking
at 12:01.
The tap tap tap
of a brand new year on your shoulder.

A kiss
and no resolutions.

Let us rejoice in gravity

when all it takes is a phone call you never wanted to make
and you find yourself washing a blood-soaked pan
instead of eating eggs with your bacon.
Remember,
at least we're not floating in space.

To The Future

We did what we wanted to
on days when the rain covered your windshield
and it wasn't safe to drive.

you were afraid anyway;
you'd rather sleep than get wet
but I wouldn't let you.

We did what we wanted to.
It was our only chance
not to get caught
and to never feel guilty-

I always did
but never told you.

We did it anyway,
what we wanted to-
those days when we couldn't see where we were going
and weren't afraid
to crash.

Don't Water Your Lawn

"What a waste"
limply holding the hose in his hands
he sighed
as Martha in her red dress yelled
"hurry up"

The sun was already high
and in a minute it would begin to burn.

"hurry up"
she watched the water drip

drip and spread
waiting for the revival of a green lawn.

Limply holding the hose in his hands
he raced with the sun-
"Martha," he said, "it's the god-damned desert-"
he felt his hands dry and crackle,

"there was never supposed to be any grass."

Marilyn Monroe never died.

They pretended to be stars-
eased their way into life
through lenses and
mediocre scripts they'd never have the means to produce.

It didn't matter.

They stumbled
over move after move
imagining we were watching-
waiting to criticize
or applaud.

Some of them acted as though
every move could make or break them.
Others didn't give a damn,
as long as someone was watching.

But none of us knew where to look.

How could we have been so unaware-
those of us who thought that the best moments were candid
and the greatest scenes unrehearsed?

Los Angeles

I had to write an ode to you.
I apologize.

I dragged my feet on your streets
never once looking down at the mess I was making.

I cursed your unpaved roads while driving on them.

Los Angeles,
don't let the earthquakes stop you
from building more than two-stories high.
Look at all of your skyscrapers-
you were afraid they wouldn't last this long.

I'm sorry
for assuming you'd never change.
I was hungry
and couldn't find a place to eat.

Elephants

I saw elephants dangle from string
and women jump from ships
but never touch water.

I could've been hit at any time-
but my timing was right.

I dodged and dived
and felt the fall of my friends-
so much so, I thought I had fallen too
but my feet were steady.

So I followed you
hid in your car
tried not to move.

Remember the bullets we dodged
and the men building bombs outside of your window?

It's a miracle we're still here.

It's not your fault

Who are you
touching me in a room you didn’t bother to clean because
you didn’t know I was coming.

You call me beautiful and
kiss my oily face,
get your fingernails caught in hair
I didn’t bother to clean
because
I didn’t know I was coming.

You tell me I’m beautiful in the morning,
that you never realized what I looked like in
muted sunlight.

My eyes are crystal-
BIG and RED
like
full of tears.

Who are you
telling me I’m beautiful when
I’m wearing clothes that don’t fit right-
a t-shirt from some place I’ve never been.

Screen prints of
creatures with crystal eyes and big teeth
howl at a moon no one can see.

Who are you who kisses me-
before I’ve brushed the plaque off my teeth.

I don’t usually look like this-
not on mornings when I wake up in my own bed.